Matthew and I have lived in Missouri for almost 3 months now, and I tell you I do miss our families but talking to my mom on facebook or getting a phone call once in a while helps. Matthew doesn't show his emotions very often, and he's good at hiding them. He doesn't tell me things that bother him, but I know that not hearing from his family bothers him. I tell him that my mom called or that we talked on facebook and I tell him things that are going on at home and he doesn't seem to care, because it's the same ole stuff; dogs, my dad, or crazy drama that happens back home. But, he doesn't hear from his family, at all. He has to call them, and he has busy days, stressful days, and he's pretty tired when he gets home. But, if his family would call to see how he's doing would be nice. If they would see how work was going, or something like that. Ya know? I know that his mom isn't working anymore, I know that she's getting ready for Leah's graduation, and for Jeremiah leaving for Afgan. I know that must be pretty hard on his mom, knowing that her youngest son is going to a war zone. But, talking to someone on the phone, we all have verizon, talking to her oldest son on the phone, re-forming a great realtionship with him is possible. I don't mean to say they have a bad realtionship, but Matthew just doesn't have a communication realtionship with his parents. They'll talk, every so often when they do call, but it's nothing personal.
Another thing I've been thinking about is, our son/daughter may not have a realtionship with either side of our family, and I guess it's our fault because we live so far away, but, I post pictures, I post blogs, and things on facebook about my appointments and I never hear anything from his family. My mom calls and asks how was the appointment, or when I call her she'll ask me how it went.
I called his dad last week when we had really bad weather, and told him it was really bad weather, I wanted him to pray for us, well, the storm passed and I was still on the phone with him, I went into the kitchen to finish dinner, and I lost signal, I took Matthew my phone and asked him to call his dad back to talk to him, because I lost signal, and he had no signal either, and we never heard from his dad again, now, what happens after the baby comes? When we are on the phone and we lose signal and I'm feeding the baby or changing the baby, are they going to call back to check on us? Or just leave us hanging?!
His mom said over two months ago that she had a changing table, car seat, playpin, and something else for me, she said I'll put up some pictures on facebook so you can see them, well I've never seen pictures, Matthew asked her about the pictures, and she said she was having problems with facebook uploading pictures, ok, I can understand that, I have the same problems sometimes, so Matthew said email them to her, and she said ok, I have recieved nothing in my email, and it's been over 2 months. Since then she has posted pictures of her daughters prom pictures on facebook. She's been on facebook since. I've asked her on her facebook about the pictures it was I'm chagning the house around, I've been busy, ok, well it's been over 2 months, so, when we ordered th crib, it came with a changing table and a dresser, so, we go it all, we I finally gave up on getting the changing table from his mom, she saw my baby registry and it has the Winnie the Pooh carseat and Stroller, and she commented on that saying she had the carseat for me, well how do I know it's a good carseat? She got all this from a consignment store. How old is the carseat, carseats do expire. It's a all in one carseat, it grows with the baby, and thats great and all, but I've always wanted a Winnie the Pooh Theme nursery. Ever since I was in highschool, and once the baby outgrows the winnie the pooh carseat I'll have the one Matthew's mom "got" for us. Well, she has never showed me pictures, and how do I know they are still good? How do I know if they've been recalled? I don't. :/ So, I'm going to get my Winnie the Pooh stuff, why? Because it's my baby! MY baby, yes it's her grandbaby, but my baby, and I love her help, but she hasn't given any. I still don't know if they are coming in Oct for the birth, or when they will be here. And the thing about all these things she "got" the baby, wouldn't be here until they got here. But I'm sorry, I need a carseat when we leave the hosptail, they wont let you leave without one.
Another thing I've been thinking about too much while I've been pregnant is, not getting all the things I need for the baby before he gets here. I know I still have a while to go, but thus far I've only gotten a few things. Yes, I'm very very thankful for all the things I've gotten, and feels very blessed for all the people who have gotten me things. Of course we can't get clothes yet, because it's still summer, but I want to stock up on loation, diapers, blankets. I know, I know, I'm crazy, I think it's just a first time mom thing.
Well here is what happened at my appointment. I've gained 5 pounds more then what they would want me too, but I'm going to start eatting better, and walking and going to the gym with Matthew. My blood pressure is great. :) All my blood work has came back good, My next blood test will be my glucose test, and she said most likely at my next appointment. Heartbeat is around 150. He's still very very low. He's usually on my right side near my pelvic bone. I measured 20 weeks. :)
Now, before I post this I want eveyone to know I love my inlaws and know that they have a lot going on, but I think they could communicate with at least Matthew more then what they do. I just needed to get this off my chest. I hope none of you think I'm being mean, or anything, I just needed to talk to someone about this. I know that none of you will judge me, or at least I hope you wont. Please just know I needed to do this.
M&M Dec 08
