Life As It Is...... You Might Learn Something!

Well, recently I've come to conclusion that my due date is vastly approaching, and it's getting frustrating, because I feel as if nothing is ready. We still don't have the pack n play, or the bedding set. We don't have anything in the room set up. We still don't have all the clothes, and I'm getting nervous. I know God will provide, and I'm not afraid of not getting this stuff, I'm scared of how late we will get it. There are a few things I would like to have this go around that I didn't have for Elijah, such as a bumbo seat, extra pacis, two different types of bottles, Elijah was a picky bottle boy, and although I don't plan on using them early, I'd still rather be prepared.

I've started questioning why I even make registries. No one seems to use them. They rather buy from other people or thrift stores, and where I have no issue with this, but I was asked to make these things and they aren't even used! It's quit frustrating to a mommy. We take time out of our busy schedules to make these things and no one even uses them. Now, I will say thank you to a friend of mine who did use it, but someone already got me the same item, from a yard sell or another person, and I had to return my friends item.

We got a box in the mail the other day from a friend who sent me some clothes, two breastflow bottles, and an awesome summer swaddle blanket! It's so thin, we even swaddled Elijah in it, he wasn't happy about it, but it's that big that we can swaddle him! Plus she sent Elijah some fall clothes! They were all 2T, and we tried putting a pair of the shorts on him, and thankfully they had the adjustable waist on them, and we had to tighten them all the way, and they were still a little too big! My short stuff isn't ready for 2T clothes, which is totally ok with this mommy! He can stay in 18 month clothes until he's 2 for all I care, which if he keeps growing the way he does he probably will. He's getting so smart! He talks in sentences now. only 2-3 words, and completely understands most of what we say, repeats almost everything we say, which is crazy for us! He knows a lot of his animals, and knows how to say 1,2,3,4. He says his own blessing when he eats. We tell him to bow his head, and this is how it goes, he repeats after us: Dear Jesus, Thank you, for yummy, bless yummy, in Jesus Name, Amen! It melts my heart when he says bless! It's totally cute! He's very strong willed, and hates getting into trouble, but we have to discipline him, or he wont understand later in life. Yes, we spank him, and he gets put in time out, yes he cries, and feels embarrassed, but after he is done either pitching his fit, or is out of trouble, we ask him to come to us, and explain why he got into trouble in the first place, and that it wasn't nice, or that it was mean. Ex; if he throws his toys, he will get his hand popped, and his toy taken away, if that doesn't stop him from throwing another toy then he gets put into time out, after he's done crying, because he cries in time out, we'll ask him to come to us, then we will explain that it's mean to throw his toys, and that he shouldn't be throwing them. Then we ask if we can have a hug, and a kiss, he gives us one of each, then tell him we love him very much. That's just a view into what we do to Elijah. He loves to pretend to read. He will kind of pay attention to some movies, but rather be running around, playing with Buck or playing with his toys. He's such a joy to have, that is not a lie. I do get frustrated when he doesn't listen to me, but I need to stay consistent with how I discipline him. With the end of my pregnancy near, I really hate getting on to him. I just want to cuddle him, love him and let him get away with more stuff, but I keep telling myself if he thinks he can get away with it now, he'll probably think he can get away with it when Bubba gets here.

We had a nick name for Elijah before he was born. He was pumpkin. It just fit him. He was due in Oct,  so it wasn't hard. But Baby G has no nick name. I was going to stick with hootie hoot, but it just doesn't feel right. Elijah will call him G or bubba. I'm ok with either one, but mommy and daddy can only call him by his name. Maybe after he is born we will come up with one. I sure hope so. I'll probably call him bubba! hahatheres is always over $200. My brother has no way of getting up here. Matthews siblings don't have the money to get up here.. But, it's still sad knowing I will probably be on my own, just like I was with Elijah, except this time I wont have just one, I'll have TWO!

Some may say it's my fault and that I shouldn't have gotten pregnant so soon, well, if you are one of those people then you're right! But don't you think I've already thought about all of that? Don't you think I've beaten myself up over things enough? I've had such a hard battle this pregnancy. I've questioned why God hasn't taken this child away from me, why I've been so healthy, why he's blessed me and not my other friends. I had two friends that had late miscarriages and a lady at my church as well! And I've asked why them and not me? I've wondered why so many times that it's made me sick! I think it's time to stop dwelling on what God hasn't done for me and what he has done for me. He's blessed me with a healthy pregnancy thus far, he's blessed me with a second child, that I've been able to enjoy moving in my belly, hearing the heartbeat, he's blessed with me people that want to help out with things that we can't afford-yes I said things we can't afford- we aren't in the best money situation, but if you're not a close friend you wouldn't know that, and you also wouldn't know that we are making progress to get out of the bad situation that we put ourselves in . We know that the reason we can't afford what a normal couple could is our fault, and we haven't asked for pity from anyone. I've complained and begged God to help us, and he has, he's shown us what to do, and what we need to do, and we've gotten on the right track, I think. We still have a lot more improving to do, but we are slowly working on it.

Now, our fifth wedding anniversary is in Nov, most people like to celebrate the fifth with getting away, or doing something special, we know we won't be able to do anything special and it's pretty upsetting to me, but it's something that I have to deal with. We still love each other and that's all that matters. I would also like to do something in Aug before Baby G gets here, but I'm not going to push it. A Drive in Movie, a small nice dinner, and getting more things in preparation for him would nice to do, but if we don't have the money or a sitter, or something than I'm not going to push it, I'll just tell Matthew he can make me dinner or something lol! And maybe a friend will take Elijah for a few hours so we can have some kid free time. :) That way it doesn't even cost money. We will see.

I am very blessed to have the few good friends that I do have. Elijah loves them! The ones we see most of the time, he knows by name. We see our friends Jared and Belen, and he calls her B, and knows her face, and voice. He loves her! He'll say "My B" He also loves seeing my friend Savana and her daughter Sophia. He loves Sophia more though I think. He calls her "Fia" He will ask "Fia? Where Fia?" It's so adorable! We all get a good laugh out of it, and he think he's cute too.

Well, I think he's about Elijah's nap time! He's getting kind of cranky, and needs some redirection to his room until he's in a better mood. ;)

Not a normal pregnancy update

Be sure to check out the links at the buttom of the page to the bedset and pack n play we have picked out! :)

Well, I haven't had anyone bug me to blog, which kind of makes me sad, but also makes me feel happy... weird I know. At least I can blog when I want too. haha I haven't blogged in a few weeks so I figured this would be a good time to do it, since Matthew is watching some kind of movie on Netflix since we don't have direct tv anymore....

Anyways-

I am 31 Weeks pregnant with Baby G! Everything seems to be going great! Appointments are every 2 weeks now! His heartbeat has been right around 140-150, my blood pressure has been great, and my midwife is really happy with my slow weight gain, I just hit my 20 pound mark, but that is from an appointment that was midday, water in my belly, food in my belly, and yeah.. I weighed myself the morning of my appointment and hadn't reached it according to my morning weight. I will continue to keep track of my morning weight! No swallow feet yet! Makes for a happy mama! Been walking more and more every day! Getting some cramps here and there, when Matthew and I walk I get a few contractions, which my midwife said is A-Ok! Hopefully it will help me not be induced! I'll let you in on a small little secret-I'm terrified of being induced again! I had such a horrible experience with Elijah, and so scared it will be nearly the same, although most people, including my midwife has said it won’t be nearly as bad! But, it's still a fear in the back of my mind. Baby G moves all the time! Almost nonstop it seems! Some times is not as pleasant since he's getting bigger and bigger! I was informed that if for some reason I have to get a C-section my midwife will be right with me! She also put on my papers to call her first-for those of you who don't know here in Warrensburg, if you go with a midwife and go into labor you get whoever is on call, and I'm just so comfortable and feel much better if Connie delivered Baby G, because she knows what all happened when I was in labor with Elijah, she knows about all my contractions I had around 20 weeks, and has like a mom away from mom to be! She's not afaid to share her faith with me, and I love that that! I'm hoping a big burst of nesting hits soon! I get a burst of energy now and then, but Baby G's room is awful! Nothing is put together, yes I realize I still have 2 months until my due date, but I like to be prepared! I also want to rearrange the living room, and, get our room ready for his pack n play! Which by the way I have picked out!

Well, my cravings lately conscience of: sweet tea, fruit, salads, pizza, and Ice Cream! Haha I've been trying to lay off the ice cream more and more! Which the past two nights I've done good by not eating any! WOO HOO! My sweet tea is less than a cup and a half of sugar, and deface tea! I love watermelon, strawberries, grapes, mostly any kind of fruit! We are getting back into rating salads before dinner, which helps fill me up so I don't eat a lot at supper, which with the amount of heartburn I've had lately I don't usually eat much anyways. Pizza needs a lot of cheese. I've been making my own or buying frozen ones, so we don't have to go to Pizza Hut or any kind of pizza place.. Which Matthew isn't afraid to tell me "no" anyways ;) which I'm happy for! Ice cream, any kind of ice cream usually works. We buy a big thing of Neapolitan from the commissary and I make milk shakes or just eat it out of the bowl!

I usually sleep ok at night, unless I talk about it, when I talk about it, I sleep horrible! Toss and turn, wake up with back and hip pain, I still end up on my back! As weird as that is! Sometimes freaks me out! I sleep braless and topless, because it seems more comfy now that I have started producing a little here and there.

I get annoyed yet again pretty easily this pregnancy. I wonder if it's a boy thing. I know other moms who get annoyed pretty easily, and they are pregnant with boys. I wonder if I have a girl how much different it will be. With both boys my hormones have been wacky! Matthew can just say the littlest wrong thing and I'll break out in tears! I try to hide my crying as much as possible, because I hate when people see me cry. I get sad a lot too, which I'm working on! My midwife told me to try to focus on the things I'm thankful for, to look at things God has blessed me with. She also told me to focus on working out, walking, which will help with me feeling down. So, that’s another reason I've increased my walking. I would like to go outside, but with triple digits, I don't think that’s healthy for me, Elijah or Baby G! This pregnancy I stay at home much more than I did with Elijah. I keep to myself, which kind of helps me to not get as annoyed, I really need to take a lot of people off my Facebook, but I am too nice to do it. If I took some of them off, they would be super unhappy with me, which most people say then that's not a true friend, but this people have done so many good things for me and my family. But the negativeness from there statuses, the cursing from them, the stupid things they post, just the horrible things they post. Yes, I know I can be negative, and I can complain at times but I don't all the time, I try not to post a lot during the day, at least I don't curse on my status. I try not to offend anyone, but I'm sick of walking on egg shells on Facebook. If I deleted most of the people I want to delete then a lot of the girls I started with in the Air Force would be gone, which is something that is going to have to happen. People are in your life for a certain amount of time, for a reason, and then sometimes it's time for them to go, and you to go out of your life because sometimes it isn't meant to be. I truly believe this!

Well I believe it's time to add some pictures, and get off this thing for the night! I hope this was enjoyable for everyone, because I don't know when the next time I will update-sorry

The Pack n Play I would like to get!

Baby G's Dream Bedset!

29 Week Appointment

Well I had an OB appointment today, and it went pretty good.

My blood pressure was great, still haven't gained 20 pounds yet, and Baby G's heartbeat was 130-140! Somethings I'm not too happy with is measuring bigger than what I am. I measured bigger at my last appointment, and now this one! So... she said if I keep measuring bigger I will get an ultrasound to try to get some measurements. I need to get into walking more, and keeping up my water intake. I passed my glucose test! Praise God!!! I was so worried about that. I actually found out about that on Friday, I had to call to find out because it was bugging me. I get to start thinking about my birth plan, and my OB appointments are now every two weeks!! It's scary how close I am to 40 weeks! In one week I will have 10 weeks! And that scares me! If Matthew and I can't find a pack n play I'm thinking of just putting the crib in our room, but I really don't want to do that, because I want baby G to nap in the crib during the day. Some great friends of mine plan on sending me some clothes for him! Which excites me! I can't wait to see what all they have for him! I have clothes in his room at the moment, but I can't go through them, or put them away because I have no dresser for him! Which also upsets me!

My third trimester so far has been dragging!! Not in time wise, but in energy wise. I've had pretty much none. I get sick to my stomach sometimes, and that upsets me. I have noticed I have more patience with this pregnancy than I did with Elijah. I might get more stressed this go around, but I'm not as out spoken this time around. Which is probably because I'm isolated myself from some friends. I plan to keep on doing that, because I have my family I get to take care of, and they need me. Don't get me wrong, I love having friends and hanging out with them, but not all the time, and I'm learning that I need to hang out with them when the kids aren't around. I need some adult time!

Well, this is all for now. Continue to pray for me and my family as we continue to seek Gods plan for our life! We are really hoping and praying for the best for our family! Thank you!

"as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord" Joshua 24:15

Life Changing

Things that happen in your life are life changing events. Getting married, buying a house, making a career decision, having a child, buying a pet, buying a car, moving, buying expensive items, getting a credit card, paying off debt, having a fight with your child or your spouse, moving out of the same state as your family, moving back into the same state as family. I could go on and on. I've done most if not all of these, and I can attest that they definitely change your life. Some in good ways, some in not so good ways.
If you learn to pray about every decision you make, and wait for God to respond then you'll make the right decision. It's hard to pray and waiting I know. I know because I haven't prayed about every decision and we haven't always made the best decision for our family and we've had to deal with those decisions. We don't have someone that has bailed us out, we don't have someone to just give us money to say here pay this bill off, or here go out on a date. It's been tight in our house lately, and we know we have no one to blame but ourselves.

We aren't asking for anyone to feel sorry for us. We know that we've made mistakes, and we're learning to live with them, but we're now learning to pray before making a decision. We have some things coming up in our future that we are praying about. We're just praying that the best decision is made for our family. If I'm going to live by my family bible verse then I need to start seeking Gods will more.

As of right now we aren't saying what we are praying about, we don't want others to know. Our family knows and our pastor knows and that's all that needs to know. I realize we have close friends that probably will want to know, but I refuse to say anything. So please don't ask, don't send me a message, don't send me a text. I don't care who you are, I'm not saying what we are thinking about right now. We will just say it may or may not be life changing. I just ask that you pray with me! Pray that God shows me and Matthew what is best for our family!

Thank you!!! :-))

"as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord" Joshua 24:15.

Waking up from a Dream

We have come back from the place we called home! And I must say It does hurt not being able to stay, but I'm glad to be back in our routine! I wish we could be a little closer, but I'm glad we aren't still in Matthew's parents back yard! We have come along way in the almost 6 years that we've known each other, and the almost 5 years that we've been married we've learned a lot from one another, we've fought a lot, and yet we are still married! We are not a statistic like some people may think. While we were home some things came to a surface, and I wish I would have never found out, but in a way I'm glad it came out. I wish I was more open to people. I am thinking about writing some people letters and sending them letters to get some things out. I do feel a little closer to some family members and yet still feel little knife between some. I want things to get better, so I have found out that I need to change my attitude a bit. I need to be more happy, more laid back, and I need to ask more questions and talk more!...

Anyways, Elijah enjoyed seeing both sets of grandparents, I know he had a blast! He spent a weekend with my parents and I know my parents enjoyed it! It might have made them rethink having another kid, my mom wants another baby really bad. Matthew's mom always got us ice cream when we came to see her at work! She enjoyed seeing Elijah at work! He face would light up, and Elijah would grin ear to ear. Elijah enjoyed playing with his cousin who's 9 months younger than him, but they had a blast playing together! Elijah really got attached to Sarah, who is Matthews oldest sister, the mother of Caleb, Elijah's cousin, he also got attached to his aunt Leah! He liked being with his great uncle Troy, and loved being with both of his grandfathers, his pawpaw my dad and his papaw Matthew's dad. We went up to Virgina, for Matthew's nanny 75th birthday, and quickly became fond of his papa his great grandfather! I loved watching him create bonds with so many family members, but hurts me because only God knows when he will see them again! My mom is suppose to come up for the birth of baby G, but that's not guarented anymore, since Matthew and I can't keep up our end of the bargain. Makes me very sad! We aren't sure if Matthews mom and dad will come up. If they do it would be great, if they don't I won't be shocked, at least I shouldn't be.

One thing I need to stop doing is comparing his parents to mine. My parents make a lot less, and can't come up here as often as his parents possibly could, but getting time off for his parents might be harder than it is with my parents. Both parents have only made one trip up here. Like Matthew even stated his parents only came up because it was out of convenice, and my came up for a purpose, Elijah's birthday. But I have to stop thinking like this! I have to think maybe his parents can't come up here because they can't get the time off, or maybe they can't afforf it. As much as I'd love both sets to come up once a year and us go to Georgia once a year that would be great! Elijah would see his grandparents 3 times in a year. We also need to get both sets on a good skyping schedule! I think that would help too! My mom and dad skyped a lot before we came to Georgia, but since we came back my mom has gotten a job and not able to skype, but he talks to her on the phone! Elijah hasn't talked to Matthew's parents since we've been back! It does make me feel like my parents make more of an effort to be in Elijah's life, but I can't think like that, I have to think of differntly so that I don't start not liking my In-laws. I want to like them, so I have to make more of an effort. If that means calling them and checking on them, randomly sending them pictures of Elijah, mailing them 4x6 pictures, and texting them, then I need to do that! These are some of the attitude things that I need to change!

One another note... I will be entering my third trimester tomorrow! How weird is that?! I haven't gained 20 poiunds yet! So, I'm thankful for that, now tomorrow when I weigh myself, I hope I haven't gained 20 pounds! haha!I'm ready for my nesting stage to begin! I have been so tired lately, and haven't wanted to do much of anything lately! I'm hoping tomorrow I'll get some burst of energy and either clean off my dresser, and our room, or work in the office to get some thing that are in Baby G's room in the office! But I tell you, I need some energy! ideas? We only need a few more things for baby G. Things such as the bedset, the pack n play, nursing tops for me, newborn clothes, just in case, which we have that covered, just waiting on them. I think that's all we need for now! We don't have a rich or well off family that can buy those things for us, although I wish we could, and that's my goal when my kids tell me mom we need this for our kids, I want to be able to get them expensive gifts that they might not be able to afford, or that would lighten the burden on them. I still feel like I'm small for almost 28 weeks, which I'm totally ok with. When I wear certin clothes I look pregnant, when I wear other clothes, I look fat. :/ but it's ok! I know I'm pregnant, the crazy moving baby in my belly reminds me about every hour or so I'm pregnant. I will say I left my wonderful comfy pregnancy pillow in Georgia, and now when I sleep I can tell I'm pregnant! I miss it so much! My uncle said he was going to send it yesterday, Monday, and I hope he did!! I am in need of that so bad!

We have a materinty shoot set up for the end of June that we've been looking forward to for a while now! We know that it will be money well spent and it will have some of just me, some of Elijah and Me, and some of Matthew and me, and some of all of us! I can't wait! I'm hoping to go back to this lady for newborn pictures, 3 month pictures, 6 month and one year! or at least newborn, and one year! haha! Matthew's gotten super good with our camera, and I love the pictures he's taken of me so far, and can't wait to let him take more! I need to find some really pretty outdoor places for him to take pictures, because he'll be doing Elijah's 20 month pictures and so on! I can't believe in almost 4 months my baby will be 2!!!....

I think now I will post some family pictures from our trip!

I do hope everyone enjoyed my post! I enjoyed writing it, and getting some things off my chest! I feel better!