Life As It Is...... You Might Learn Something!

Well, recently I've come to conclusion that my due date is vastly approaching, and it's getting frustrating, because I feel as if nothing is ready. We still don't have the pack n play, or the bedding set. We don't have anything in the room set up. We still don't have all the clothes, and I'm getting nervous. I know God will provide, and I'm not afraid of not getting this stuff, I'm scared of how late we will get it. There are a few things I would like to have this go around that I didn't have for Elijah, such as a bumbo seat, extra pacis, two different types of bottles, Elijah was a picky bottle boy, and although I don't plan on using them early, I'd still rather be prepared.

I've started questioning why I even make registries. No one seems to use them. They rather buy from other people or thrift stores, and where I have no issue with this, but I was asked to make these things and they aren't even used! It's quit frustrating to a mommy. We take time out of our busy schedules to make these things and no one even uses them. Now, I will say thank you to a friend of mine who did use it, but someone already got me the same item, from a yard sell or another person, and I had to return my friends item.

We got a box in the mail the other day from a friend who sent me some clothes, two breastflow bottles, and an awesome summer swaddle blanket! It's so thin, we even swaddled Elijah in it, he wasn't happy about it, but it's that big that we can swaddle him! Plus she sent Elijah some fall clothes! They were all 2T, and we tried putting a pair of the shorts on him, and thankfully they had the adjustable waist on them, and we had to tighten them all the way, and they were still a little too big! My short stuff isn't ready for 2T clothes, which is totally ok with this mommy! He can stay in 18 month clothes until he's 2 for all I care, which if he keeps growing the way he does he probably will. He's getting so smart! He talks in sentences now. only 2-3 words, and completely understands most of what we say, repeats almost everything we say, which is crazy for us! He knows a lot of his animals, and knows how to say 1,2,3,4. He says his own blessing when he eats. We tell him to bow his head, and this is how it goes, he repeats after us: Dear Jesus, Thank you, for yummy, bless yummy, in Jesus Name, Amen! It melts my heart when he says bless! It's totally cute! He's very strong willed, and hates getting into trouble, but we have to discipline him, or he wont understand later in life. Yes, we spank him, and he gets put in time out, yes he cries, and feels embarrassed, but after he is done either pitching his fit, or is out of trouble, we ask him to come to us, and explain why he got into trouble in the first place, and that it wasn't nice, or that it was mean. Ex; if he throws his toys, he will get his hand popped, and his toy taken away, if that doesn't stop him from throwing another toy then he gets put into time out, after he's done crying, because he cries in time out, we'll ask him to come to us, then we will explain that it's mean to throw his toys, and that he shouldn't be throwing them. Then we ask if we can have a hug, and a kiss, he gives us one of each, then tell him we love him very much. That's just a view into what we do to Elijah. He loves to pretend to read. He will kind of pay attention to some movies, but rather be running around, playing with Buck or playing with his toys. He's such a joy to have, that is not a lie. I do get frustrated when he doesn't listen to me, but I need to stay consistent with how I discipline him. With the end of my pregnancy near, I really hate getting on to him. I just want to cuddle him, love him and let him get away with more stuff, but I keep telling myself if he thinks he can get away with it now, he'll probably think he can get away with it when Bubba gets here.

We had a nick name for Elijah before he was born. He was pumpkin. It just fit him. He was due in Oct,  so it wasn't hard. But Baby G has no nick name. I was going to stick with hootie hoot, but it just doesn't feel right. Elijah will call him G or bubba. I'm ok with either one, but mommy and daddy can only call him by his name. Maybe after he is born we will come up with one. I sure hope so. I'll probably call him bubba! hahatheres is always over $200. My brother has no way of getting up here. Matthews siblings don't have the money to get up here.. But, it's still sad knowing I will probably be on my own, just like I was with Elijah, except this time I wont have just one, I'll have TWO!

Some may say it's my fault and that I shouldn't have gotten pregnant so soon, well, if you are one of those people then you're right! But don't you think I've already thought about all of that? Don't you think I've beaten myself up over things enough? I've had such a hard battle this pregnancy. I've questioned why God hasn't taken this child away from me, why I've been so healthy, why he's blessed me and not my other friends. I had two friends that had late miscarriages and a lady at my church as well! And I've asked why them and not me? I've wondered why so many times that it's made me sick! I think it's time to stop dwelling on what God hasn't done for me and what he has done for me. He's blessed me with a healthy pregnancy thus far, he's blessed me with a second child, that I've been able to enjoy moving in my belly, hearing the heartbeat, he's blessed with me people that want to help out with things that we can't afford-yes I said things we can't afford- we aren't in the best money situation, but if you're not a close friend you wouldn't know that, and you also wouldn't know that we are making progress to get out of the bad situation that we put ourselves in . We know that the reason we can't afford what a normal couple could is our fault, and we haven't asked for pity from anyone. I've complained and begged God to help us, and he has, he's shown us what to do, and what we need to do, and we've gotten on the right track, I think. We still have a lot more improving to do, but we are slowly working on it.

Now, our fifth wedding anniversary is in Nov, most people like to celebrate the fifth with getting away, or doing something special, we know we won't be able to do anything special and it's pretty upsetting to me, but it's something that I have to deal with. We still love each other and that's all that matters. I would also like to do something in Aug before Baby G gets here, but I'm not going to push it. A Drive in Movie, a small nice dinner, and getting more things in preparation for him would nice to do, but if we don't have the money or a sitter, or something than I'm not going to push it, I'll just tell Matthew he can make me dinner or something lol! And maybe a friend will take Elijah for a few hours so we can have some kid free time. :) That way it doesn't even cost money. We will see.

I am very blessed to have the few good friends that I do have. Elijah loves them! The ones we see most of the time, he knows by name. We see our friends Jared and Belen, and he calls her B, and knows her face, and voice. He loves her! He'll say "My B" He also loves seeing my friend Savana and her daughter Sophia. He loves Sophia more though I think. He calls her "Fia" He will ask "Fia? Where Fia?" It's so adorable! We all get a good laugh out of it, and he think he's cute too.

Well, I think he's about Elijah's nap time! He's getting kind of cranky, and needs some redirection to his room until he's in a better mood. ;)