My thoughts of a Best Friend

Best friends are the ones that you don't have to ask to do anything, the ones that are always there for you no matter what nad never judge you. They never say, what about me? What about my feelings? How about you come over here, why can't you just ignore your husband? Best friends try there hardest to understand what you are going through, never question your judgement calls, and never feel used. I have friends that I know I can talk too, but my best friends I have are very few, and far in between. I have come by some, here while being at Whiteman, and have come very close to them, they should know who they are. They are alwasy here for me, never say, well Mandy, you are over reacting, you need to chill, they always know when I need to vent, they even tell me up front, well this is how I would do this, but I understand you... They know how nice of a person I am, they know if I could do anything for them, I would do it in a heartbeat. They understand my husband is only an A1C and we can't afford the finest of things, that we are bargin shoppers, and light eaters. Yes, we do enjoy going out to eat once and a while, and buying some things for ourselves, but we know that we have a baby that comes before us and his needs over rides ours. We weren't as lucky as some and wasn't able to have a lot of money in our savings account before he joined, and no I might not have been the smarest cookie when I went to live with him in Texas, but if I wouldn't have done that I wouldn't have Elijah now, as a almost 4 month old. Who knows what could have been or what should have been? We can't look in the past and say, well I should have done this different, well, yeah, well now you know for next time. Best firneds don't let you dwell on your past mistakes, and they don't tell you how you ruined your life, whith getting married at 17 and having a baby at 20. They tell you this makes you a stronger person, and you know you can do this. Best friends try to make you smile and have a great time, even when they aren't around. They help you with what ever you need, if it's only a 5 minute break, or a shower, or eating a hot meal. 
Best friends are more less family. They are here when you need them, tell you things up front, honest, kind, and show you hard love. Best friends are hard to find, I had to leave some behind in Georgia, and now one will be leaving me soon. It's a hard pill to swallow, but I know it had to be done. 
I hope this wasn't too scrambled, and it was easy to understand, and I don't know if you agree with me about best friends, but this is how mine are. 

I have a crying baby I must attend too. Thanks!   

How My Life Has Changed

Elijah Micheal Flippen & Matthew Andrew Flippen have changed my life in ways no one could ever think of. Elijah brings a smile to my face every day, no matter if I had a bad night or not, and Matthew can always make the little things disappear. They are the loves of my life. I have had a rough few weeks, being slightly depressed, in a grumpy mood, not wanting to do anything, but God has shown me and told, more then once, that he will never leave me and he will not put more on me than I can handle. He has also told me that with him all things are possible. I have had a lot of time to think, and have talked to a few people, and let them know what was going on with me, and they have helped. My pastors wife has helped me in a way that I don't think anyone else could. She is like a mom to me. She knows just what to say, and how to say it. I love her in a way that I have never loved anyone. She's so kind, and listens, she's just simply amazing.

Matthew and I have came to a compromise about Elijah. He will feed him, change him and play with him in the mornings while I either sleep or clean, and then I will take care of him the rest of the day, since Matthew is on swings, and I will put him, Elijah, to bed on the weeknights and Matthew gets to do it on weekends. :) I love how we agreed to do that! It helps me get things done, and it helps Matthew and Elijah build a relationship,and bond, that I think, they need.

Elijah is my son, he's 3 months old, and he's my world. I have had a hard time with him, and I am still learning, but, what can I say? I'm a new mom still learning, still trying to understand what all his cries mean. I have a hard time, but I know that I can do it. I have a lot of support, and I have a lot of people praying for me. Elijah means the world to me, if anything ever happened to him, I would be devastated! He's my little pumpkin, my little man, my big boy, my chuncker, my little blue eyed prince, he's my everything!

Well, I want to post a picture that my sister in law took of us while we were home in Georgia, and I edited it!


My love

I love my son so much. Although I have a hard time with him, and I don't fully understand how to take care of him, I still enjoy having him in my life.

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Love me For Me

This song has been on my heart lately. I want to share with all my bloggers. Please check it out and tell me what you think.

Youtube- Love Me- JJ Heller

Just thought I would do a short post for this. Please, listen to it. It's how I feel a lot of the days. :/

Is ready for calmness

Before I start saying anything I must say, today Elijah celebrated his 3 month birthday! He's been out of my belly for 3 whole months. I'm so excited to see what the next 3 months bring... or the next 3 years!! He probably won't have a big My First Birthday, one because family won't be able to make it, and two Matthew and I don't see the point in throwing away a lot of money on things he won't even remeber. We will probably have a cake and some close friends... Which is ok with me. :)

Well today has been an ok day so far. Matthew took Matthew and Elijah out to lunch, and it was great! Elijah let us enjoy or salad before waking up. which isn't normal for him, he ALWAYS wakes up when we eat, doesn't matter what it is, any type of food, he wakes up. Then Matthew fed him for me while I ate, then I finished feeding him while Matthew ate. Elijah was really happy after he ate. It was nice to be out, with my little family eating and having a good time. One of the happiest times this whole week I've had.

Tonight, was another story. I gave Elijah a bath, went upstairs, fed him, rocked him and sang to him, then tried putting him in his crib. It didn't work out the way I wanted it too. He screamed his head off..., for a while, Matthew went up to try to help me out, and that didn't work.. Don't get me wrong, we don't let him cry forever before we go up, it was maybe 5-10 minutes, then we go up. Then we let him cry some more, then I finally went up with my cell phone with some white noise and put it in his crib and he went out, like a light. So, now I'm blogging and I cleaned up the kitchen and helped my husband with some laundry, yes I said helped my husband with some laundry. He's on laundry duty, since I can't seem to do it right now..

I know there is a lot going on with myself right now, but I'm getting help. My pastors wife is going to help me out, and sit down and talk to me Friday, and then I asked if the next day or next time we can get my pastor and Matthew to join us, and she said that would be a great idea. I know I need some help. I'm not happy, I'm not eating right, enough and I don't want to do anything. I noticed it myself, and I asked for help, so I know I'm on the right track, so please just pray for me.

That's enough about that. Thanks for reading my crazy thoughts and praying for me. It truly means a lot. I do hope that, if anyone else, that is reading this needs help or prayer, or anything don't feel ashamed to ask for it. It will ease a big burden off of your shoulders.