Something's gotta Give...

Well I just found out that privatizing is going to be sooner then we thought, lest just say in a week it's going to happen. Which really sucks! It makes me feel stuck in the base house, which is something I didn't want to happen. Some of you didn't know this, but Matthew and I were looking to buy a house. We have everything worked out, except financing. We almost had that worked out, but then the bank was like we haven't financed a manufactured home in a year and a half, so we were like ouch... So, the past few days the realtor has been trying to find someone to finance it, and he's just waiting for call backs, and Matthew gets to work and sees an email about privatizing NEXT WEEK! I'm so frustrated right now, and all I want is this other house! I feel like if we sign a lease to stay on base things that I want to happen, won't be able to happen, which include, wait for it.... expand out family. The Duggars get all the credit for this thought of having more.. :) I never thought I would want another baby, but now we do. The thought of having two gifts from God that we can teach, and mold into Christ loving kids excites us. The thought about being pregnant again excites me!, but if we can't get this other house then I think I will hold off on having more kids, which sucks! I really want this new house! It's perfect for us! It has a wood burning fireplace, 4 bedrooms, 2 car garage, ***ONE STORY*** fenced in back yard, large rooms, awesome master suit! I could see us staying here for a long time, and if we stay here for a long time, I just want to be comfortable, and not made to live in a place where I am not.

One another note, Matthew and I thought I might have conceived a few weeks ago, before we actually even considered having another baby, well I started getting all the symptoms, so I started getting excited, ( after Matthew and I talked about it) And, I could not for the life of me remember when my last period was, but we knew I was late. Later then usual. So, we started liking the fact that I could be pregnant, the only weird thing was, I was taking test like every day, and they all were coming back negative, so we were like, ok no big deal, I didn't find out with Elijah until I was 11 days late, so maybe I just haven't reached that point yet. Matthew told me if I hadn't started before Thanksgiving, that after the holiday weekend I would make an appointment, get a blood test, and find out what's going on. So, I agreed to it, of course me and some close friends were like I really hope you are pregnant, I'm having a lot of the symptoms, my poor boobs were hurting like no other, heartburn, I was having mild nausea, always tired.. So, I was like this has to be a baby in my belly. Well much to my dismay I had the worse period in my life on the 24, Thanksgiving day. I mean I thought, and still kinda think it could have been a miscarriage, it was *that* bad! So, I was too scared to go to the ER on Thanksgiving, and thankfully the pain had subsided on Black Friday, but after I got home from Wal-Mart I was still having small cramps, but then it went away. So, My lovely friend told me to call the clinic on Monday, so I did that today, and explained everything that happened, and I had a nurse call me back. She wanted me to come in and get an HCG test, but with it being only like 2 weeks, she also said they couldn't have done untying to save the baby, and I told her I'd rather not go in, so she told me to monitor myself, and if the pain or bleeding or the clots come back to go straight to the ER. And I'm ok with that expiation. She also said it could have just been a bad period since the lining had time to build up, the pain, and clots could have been from that, and I should be just fine. :) So, not to worry, I just things checked out, for the most part.
I've started working out more. :) The only plus side to Matthew's schedule is we get to go to the gym together and work out! :) Helps him out on his PT test, and helps me try to slim down, possibly before a baby, or stay healthy during a pregnancy! :) I don't like the fact that he's working while I'm sleepingish.. I barely sleep when he's on mids! It messes me up during the day, bc I'm so tired and I don't want to do anything, so I do the bare minimum, and just play, feed, and teach Elijah. The house chores get pushed back. I need to just say, I won't talk to him while he's at work, and just let him read his bible and I sleep, but it's so tough to do that. haha!
I'm not sure what else to say! I am still frustrated about the house thing, but I have to keep telling myself, God will work things out, even that means I have to stay on base, although I really don't want too.... God please help me understand!

Mr. Elijah at 4 months..

Mr. Elijah 4 Months