I have a song stuck in my head right now, and it's "I need a hero" lol! I haven't even watched Footloose for a while, but the song is in my head. I figured I would share that with yall! : )
So, just to let yall know, I really hope I am pregnant! I'm hoping so much I could be psyching myself out, which in that case, I hope I'm not. The thought of a life growing inside of me again, excites me! Knowing God gave me yet another blessing, excites me! I know some of you probably think, "this girl is crazy! She wants another kid, after what she went through with Elijah?" Heck yes I do! I want another chance at glorifying God and hopefully doing more things right. I want another chance at breast feeding, another chance at enjoying the soft skin of a new born. I want to see my son's eyes when we show him his baby sister or brother. He already shares so greatly, he already has been around a small baby, and he just stares at them, and wants to share his toys. He's so gentle with "little people" or "the puppy" as we could call it. I just know he's going to be a great big brother, weather it be now, or a year from now!
I know God has some kind of plan for me, after having Elijah I didn't think I was the "mother" type. I just knew that Elijah was going to be my only one! But then it started growing on me, the possibility of having another one. That possibility has become a dream, that I never want to wake up from, unless I wake up with a sweet little innocent baby. God wouldn't put wanting more kids in my mind for no reason. Especially since I have a great working uterus. I know there are women out their that want more kids, or would do anything to be able to bare more kids, and here I am with a healthy uterus, as far as we know and I wanted to be selfish and not have anymore. Why on earth would I do that to myself, or my son, since I most of the time see myself being a great mom, and I have a great husband that does what he can, when he can to help me out. Elijah needs more siblings. We've taught him how to share, how to be gentle, how to love, and play. I know at one point I would say, well as long as we are in the Air Force he will have siblings, they just wont live with us. Well, now that I see us being here at Whiteman for a long time, and the possibility of my best friend leaving in 4-6 years we should have more kid(s) to allow him to have siblings and so we can enjoyment to raise them together, teach them, and learn from them.
I hope all this is making sense to you, because in my head, it makes a lot of sense to me.
Well I guess that's enough confusion in one night! We have church tomorrow, and my bestie is getting baptized! We are so excited for her, and once again, I will say, I'm taking her pictures! :)) I just hope one day I will get my own camera, nice, like a Nikon or a Canon!
Good night everyone! Early night! :-)
I had no idea what to title this post until I really thought about it. "The Thoughts of a Mom TTC"
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