Two Days in a Row...

Hello everyone! I haven't done two days in a row in a while. It's makes me feel all happy and warm inside. Well to start off, the weather here in Missouri makes me so sad. This whole week they have been calling for snow on tomorrow, well I watch the news last night and they say, oh well we over shot it, we wont be seeing snow, or much rain for that matter. It will be cold and wet tomorrow.

Matthew wants to go see the New Chronicles of Narnia Movie, which is fine with me, but I really wanted Stephanie, our pastors wife, to watch Elijah, and she can't. I know I have all these people who have said, "oh if you ever need anyone to watch Elijah, I'll do it" But I feel weird asking people to watch him. I know all my friends would love to watch him, but I'd rather him stay here at our house because then he'll have his swing and be in his environment. Matthew says "it's not that hard to sign someone on base." But It just seems like a big hassle. I've got to be the one to find someone to watch him, I've got to the be one to sign the person on base, I've got to tell the person well this is what he normally does, this is what he eats, this is how much... blah blah blah... lol! Maybe that's the mom in me that just doesn't want to leave her baby. Anyways...

Today has been a pretty good day. I went to see a friend this morning. She's such a sweetheart and reassured me that everything I am feeling is normal. Matthew and I have talked a little today, but not much. Just a few words here and there. Now he's off to work and he said when he gets home, or tomorrow or some time we'll talk. I hope it turns out good. I can only pray for a good outcome. I want us to be able to talk. Talking is the key to everything. I just want to feel myself again, I don't want to feel crappy, crabby, or anything like that. I'm not going to lie, I don't feel pretty. I am down to my pre pregnancy weight, but I don't have clothes that fit, and my two jeans that do fit, one the zipper is broken, so I have to wear a long shirt with them and my other ones have holes ALL OVER them, so I have to wear black stalkings with them. I feel like all my clothes aren't pretty enough, and I know we can't just go out and buy things when I want them. We've never been able to do that, but I want to feel pretty, I want to feel appreciated. I want to feel as if I belong here.

Well that's enough about all of that. I don't want to end up like yesterday's blog. I'm going to end this saying, I know that God has a plan and a purpose. I know that I'm in Missouri for a reason. I know that I'm going through this hard time to learn something. I just gotta keep truckin' it. I'm not going to give up, and I'm not going to let Satan win. God is much stronger and I know that if I keep praying and keep believing I will overcome this mess.

Thank you everyone who has prayed for me. God is really working in me.