Here are some random facts about me that I've been thinking about lately. I just htought I would share them with you.
Sometimes....
-I don't think I'm a good enough mom.
-I bit my nails and lie to Matthew and say I'm not
-I wish I would have waited to get married, I wonder where I'd be.
-I wish I could run away.
-I feel like I'm not a good enough wife.
-I want to be back in school, college, not high school. Too much drama.
-I wish I had more money in savings.
-I wish I could get my hair and nails done, and have a spa day, without worrying about if I've spent too much money.
-I wish my online friends were at the same base. Esp the ones who go through, and are going through the same thing I am.
-I feel like I am fat.
-I feel like I'm ugly.
-I hate the way my house looks.
-I wish I could blog more.
-I wish Matthew and I could buy better gifts for our family at Christmas time.
-I wish I lived so much closer to home.
-I feel like I have no life.
-I hope that people would come visit me and not worry how I look or how my house looks.
-I wish people would invite me over, or pay more attention to me.
Ok, now I'm done. I'm def not asking for your pity, I just thought I would share these few things with you. I know not all the people that read my blog don't know me, and thats ok. If you keep reading my blog, you'll learn me. I write things that are true, and I write what I am feeling. I love that I can come here and not feel like someone is judging my every thought. I'm not the most perfect person, and I will never be. I'm not the best wife, or best mom, but I am learning. It takes time to be good at something. It takes time to come to realize you need help, and I know I need help with somethings in my life. I'm not sure what those things are yet, but I know I get too upset about little things, and that needs to stop. Well I guess this is enough so far. I need to get a really tired and crying baby to sleep.
Hope you enjoyed. :)
I have to say is that we all have feelings of wonder. I wonder what my life would have been like if things with Aaron and myself had worked out and we had gotten married. and college has more drama than high school! Trust me on this! We all feel like we're not good enough or don't like our appearance. Whenever I feel like that, I read Psalm 139. Remember, God made us this way for a reason and we are all gorgeous in His sight! and He put us on His path and has a plan for us.
ReplyDeleteThanks girl! I will read that! And I'll post it in my room so it's a constant reminder! I have to wonder sometimes, it get me away from life. Also, I'd rather do online college, just so I can finish my degree.
ReplyDeleteFeeling those things is normal for everyone hun :) Just remember even though wondering what things would've been like " if " you did things differently is ok that if you did you wouldn't be where you are now or have the people in your life that you do.. Could you live without them? I have often thought the things you are thinking but I know where my life would be if I never married John and I am glad I married him because I will never find another man like him. As for feeling like you're not a good enough mom, it gets better and you get more confident about it... Yeah you'll make mistakes but you can't learn if you don't make them :) Life's an adventure, take risks and enjoy every minute.. you never know when it all ends :) I am here if you need to talk or vent :)
ReplyDeleteAmanda,
ReplyDeleteThanks. Sometimes I just wonder if I'm doing a good enough job, but at the end of the day I know I am, because my son is happy, gaining weight, and smiling *all the time* so I know I'm doing a good job.
Thanks for reassuring me that the thoughts in my weird head are ok. lol!
LOL :) That's is one of the bst ways to know you're doing things right is that Elijah is happy and healthy :)
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