I need you Jesus
Since I posted that post, lesson learned... I don't want you all to be like.. Oh, I'm so sorry. I am a selfish brat. And I know that. but, I do love my husband, and I am very proud of him. I mean he's been making 100's, keeping up with all his meetings and spending what little time he can with me. *sigh* I just want to have him all to myself. Some of you will say it will change after you get to Whiteman.. Maybe it will, maybe it wont.. Let me tell you this..
One thing I'm going to have to adjust to is sleeping with him again. It seems weird to have him in the same bed as me now. I hate that feeling. He's my husband, it should feel strange to have him in the same bed as myself.
I know all his parents are doing is supproting him, but I wish they would back off. If he post something about his rope, his mom is commenting on it, but if he posts he wants to spend time with me, then she doesn't. Kinda throws a flag up to me. Kinda makes me sad.
I know that Matthew is doing these things to help himself, and I am very happy about that, but when I think about my needs, or the attention I deserve, I don't get it. Or I feel like I don't get it. I guess what I'm saying, is I'm ready to be at Whiteman! I don't care about RAP, because he's going to want to hang out with his friends, or his brother, and I might be sleeping alone, yet again, and I don't like that!!!! What married woman does? Yes I'm going to have to adjust to sleeping with him, but I'd rather get started on that now! Last night....
Well I guess I'm done with this one too
Sorry you have to see these sad posts'. But it's what's going through my mind.
Have a good night
Mandy~
Ack, I don't think you are a selfish "brat" at ALL! Seriously, that's the furthest thing from my mind. I would feel the SAME way. I feel like I'm a huge baby sometimes, but it's normal. We are *supposed* to be with our husbands. Don't you feel bad for a second for wanting to be alone with your husband. I'm super selfish about my time with Mark (well, not so much now since things are normal again - but during BMT graduation & stuff) I wanted MY time with him. I completely understand. I wish he would hurry up and graduate so your life can return to normal. Tech school is the pits :\ I'm super sorry.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you are a selfish brat either! I'm the same way.. I want to be with my husband as much as possible too! During his BMT graduation we got 15 minutes of alone time. I was livid.. His mom wanted every second of his time and she flat out looked at me and said "I'm running up to him first since I deserve the first hug I already wrote him telling him he had to hug me first because he owes me" REALLY?! What kind of mother says that? and even now with tech when he comes home its homework time which I understand but then he wants to plug himself into video game world and it's bye bye to any attention for the rest of the night! Or he has meetings galore and has to run back and forth from Post.. It's ridiculous but I understand you! We all want more time and we deserve it!
ReplyDeleteI guess it goes back to at graduation, I didn't get the attention from him that I thought I needed. I was competing with his parents, and his dad told me to back off. So, I guess I really did, and I don't know. Things just seem so up tight right now. I didn't get the first hug at graduation! And I know I am holding a grudge over that about his mom. I told her I wanted the first hug.. If I was scared of not! I wanted to be the first everything. Hug, the first person he talked too, everything. I didn't get it. I don't want to bring it up now, because there is nothing they can all do about it, but still it hurts me, even almost 4 months later.
ReplyDeleteStephanie, Justin's family was the SAME way. Did she get the first hug? I talked to him on the phone and told him he better hug me first and he was like "well, ya, duh!" and I was the first one of the drill pad out of anyone! His flight talked about me being the first one out there, haha! But Justin like just told his family, ok, well you guys can go do whatever, we are leaving and spending the rest of the day alone, and we had a separate car so they had to choice, lol!
ReplyDeleteMandy, Tech school is tough, I have told you that before, it put a strain on our relationship big time, its a horrible time that is for sure. Just get through it and everything will get better, I promise you! And I had to compete for attention at graduation too, I am not sure why parents do this, they have to make it out to be stressful. I know that my parents, the best parents in the world, are not going to be like that when I graduate, they are going to act right and my mom understands that I am married and will want time with my husband and they understand when I got married, my husband now has the most claim to me! I have an awesome family dynamic on my side of the family, seriously like the best parents ever, I am so thankful! But like it seems like parents baby boys way more than girls which is weird! And as soon as they join the Air Force, parents that paid no attention to kids before sudden care about nothing else! It drives me crazy!
And Justin's parents are like this, I don't know if anyone else's are, but they like try to claim his achievements as their own, like act like they are the reason that he has done so well and don't give any credit to him, it drives me nuts! Like, "oh I am such a good dad and raised my kid so well that he did such and such! It was all me". Like I know parents raise you and stuff, but I know there is way more to me than how my parents raised me, everything around you shapes you and I believe that the way we are has a lot to do with our genes, and also, my friends and school shaped me just as much as my parents did and me becoming my own person and ME deciding the type of person that I was going to be. It just makes me mad that Justin's parents seem like they just want him to do things so they have something to brag about, so maybe that is why Matthew's parents are trying to push him to do all these things.