Well how is everyone doing? Me.. Ehhh... Ok.. I guess. I will be sending my mom a letter, telling her how I really feel about what she's done to me. This is the last time I'm going to let her hurt me. I mean it. I'm sick of being under her spell. I don't know if you understand. When I think of her, or think of what she's done to me, it seems evilness. Sounds crazy yes, but I mean thats how I feel when I think about what she's done to me. I know that Matthew doesn't like what she's doing, and if I keep thinking about her or anything she's put me though it's going to keep dragging me down. I need to keep in mind that God is looking out for me, that he is always with me. I know that an empty mind is satans playground. My mind hasn't been empty, it's been thinking about how things could be worse, and how could i have let the military take over my marriage.... Ok, let me tell you this..
I feel like the military has taken over my marriage. And I know it has, but I need some postive feedback on this. I know there has to be something good about this, but nothing is coming to mind. I just want out of the military. I never wanted in; i'm not in; he is. But seems like I am in. Do I get to see him? Yes, but Like tonight, I didn't get a hug, a kiss, or anything. It really sucks. Sitting here thinking about it, just makes it worse. sigh...Well I think I'm done for tonight. I'm on the phone with Matthew, and I need to talk to him about a lot of things. I hope you all have a great night, and I hope I feel better tomorrow.
Prayer is needed here! And some supportive friends are needed as well. I know that i have some, but right now, in the state of mind that I"m in, I feel like I have none.
girl im so sorry you feel like this! and i know ur not gonna wanna here this, but uve got to stick with it for the 6 years and then your good (unless he resigns). But dont worry about it, trust me, it does get better. Basic is the worst part, and then tech school is pretty bad on its own, and then you get to your duty station and then things calm down and you yourselves again.. it will all be fine in the end, your just in a rough spot right now. and you have friends! we are here to chear you up, if you ever just want to get out of the house, just text me, i always want to hang with people but people never wanna hang. So if you want something to do, call me! lol
ReplyDeleteAnd what if i introduce all the wifeys to each other tomorrow or something?
and by the way, good for you! writing that letter to your mom is an excelent idea!
ReplyDeleteThanks. And I don't know about getting us altogeher. You all have night shift hubs. And mine isn't. I try and stay on track with my sleep, even though I have so much on my mind. Thanks for caring. I know that I"m stuck with it, I'm just going through a rough patch of gravel right now. I'm going ot get better. Thanks for commenting.
ReplyDeleteoh hey no prob. but yah, just cuz theyre nights doesnt mean we are up all night and sleep all day like the hubs. i know myself and another wifey dont do it (some nights i feel like an allnighter, but not every night) and tiffany use to not do it, but for some reason, this week she is... besides, we can get together with you while the husbands are off sleeping all day any day. we can make them sleep all morning and we can see you all morning while u wait for the hubs, or vise versa.
ReplyDeleteof course youll get better :) it alwasy gets better :)
I promise, it gets better at the first duty station. It just feels like he is going to work to a regular old job, and it seems like he is always here for some reason like I don't have ENOUGH alone time sometimes.
ReplyDeleteYeah.. Well trust me when I start complaining about not having the alone time, He will go on his TDY i'm sure, then I'll miss hime again!
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